check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
