My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
