hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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