So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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