it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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