No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
