party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
