oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
