I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
