I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
please don't ironically join a cult
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