mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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