I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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