We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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