Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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