They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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