i just wanna soil my oats bro
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
