oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your cock deserves a montage
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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