I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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