You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
