ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
