Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
