I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Randomize
