Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
