I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
