In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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