dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
