it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
