there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
