i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
