I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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