u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
