she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
