Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
