If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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