I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
