ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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