I skipped work to stalk him.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
