It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
