I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
