Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
