I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
