chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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