Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
