so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
