what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
