Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
