My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
