im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
