Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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