My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
