I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
