I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
