i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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